Thursday, 21 June 2012

The D-Word

Casually proving I never take myself too seriously...

I've been wondering when to write this post for a while now! I decided to do it after reading the Frankie Sandford interview in Glamour a few months back, which focused on her struggle with depression. I try my best not to go "too deep" in regards to my health/well being on here, but there's such a stigma attached to all forms of mental illness, and I thought it'd be nice just rambling about it. If it helps just one person, I'll be happy!

; I've had depression for around 1 and a half years now. Time flies! I can't pin point where it started, I've been trying for  a very long time but now I think it's better to manage it and make myself better. Saying "better" is a little odd, because depression is a part of my life, it'll be weird when it finally buggers off.

; After about 11 months of being a stubborn and moody teenager, I dragged myself to counselling. Now, the first counsellor I got was frankly ridiculous. I'm sure she could help others, but why do people do breathing exercises?! I mean really. I was struggling not to giggle as I huffed and puffed in front of her. Anyway, then I got paired with the lovely Brian, who has stuck by me for the past few months. I find it useful because I don't like the idea of burdening close ones with my problems.... so I lay it on a professional, ha! Seriously though, I consider him a friend now.

; I was put on medication in January this year, and this deserves the most attention, I feel. Not because it's the most "important" part of my treatment, but because my God there is so much prejudice about antidepressants! In the past they were harsh and aggressive treatments (tranquilizers anyone?!), but now  they are much better managed and all they do is balance out chemicals whizzing round your brain. I'm currently on a form of SSRI, linked there for anyone who wants more info. It has not changed my personality at all, the only difference is I am a heavier sleeper!

I don't want to ramble on, so the last thing I will say on the topic is do not be worried about having depression. As my counsellor told me on my first appointment, depression is just your body going into "nursing mode", if you will, protecting you from any more emotional strain. And when you're ready, you will get back to your normal self. x

Tuesday, 12 June 2012


Yep, I've been getting friendly with Pixlr, can you tell?! Ha. The playsuit is an old Topshop find, and the jumper is from New Look, last year. I really haven't done that much with my day besides watch Man vs Food (so good!) and bake some coconut macaroons! 

Now, starting this week I'm going to try and get a weekly blog feature going. It's based on the books I read, and basically will be a review every friday! That means I have to read a book a week, eep! I'm sure I'll manage though. So, if anyone has any books they want me to have a read of and review, let me know please! 

Coming soon: The Bell Jar & Before I Go To Sleep

Monday, 11 June 2012

Tweet, tweet...

Nope, this isn't a reference to my twitter (shameless bit of self promo there), it's actually a post dedicated to my new tattoo idea! I do ramble on about tattoos alot, I love them, and hopefully if I have the willpower to save up this summer, this will be my first bit of ink!

I've always wanted my first tattoo to be relevant to the passing of my grandparents, last year. Mainly because it reminds me how close I was to them, how they have shaped me as a person and how their loss affected my family. So, the idea is this - an open birdcage, with a dove flying out. Now, either under the dove's wing or on the door of the birdcage will be my grandparents initials: "J" for Joseph, "M" for Margaret. The 'meaning' of the tattoo is my belief in the Holy Spirit guiding my grandparents into the afterlife upon their death. And a birdcage, well, because I love them!

The hardest thing to pick is the design of the birdcage, and I've found a few ideas here:

All images found on weheartit

My favourite design is the last picture (just above), I think I'm going to take that image to my local tattoo place and ask them to sketch it! Minus the handle on top and the birds. So, what do you think? :)

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Review: 1Q84 - Haruki Murakami

Views are 100% my own

As I mentioned in my last post, if you've known me a while you may have heard of this book! 1Q84 is written by the amazing Japanese author Haruki Murakami, who has also written Norweigan Wood - also a great book.1Q84 was greatly anticipated by the literary world because it had to be translated which of course took a while! I won't give too much away in this review, and of course this is my opinion!

Book 1 & 2 were published first by Murakami and I got my mits on it last Christmas. The story involves two main narratives, Aomame and Tengo, whose lives seem very distant but get increasingly intertwined as the book progresses. Again, I really don't want to give any of the main plot away to any prospective readers but there is an excellent twist which came as a complete surprise to me! The narrative is deep and engaging, the characters moving but also I found I could relate to some of the concepts in the book.

One negative to the Book 1 & 2 possibly could be the consistency of the content. This probably is just a personal thing, as sometimes I find it hard to stay engaged in a book for such a long period of time and it did take a while to read, despite me being a fast reader. I stopped reading it during exam periods etc, and overall it took me 2-3 months to complete. Murakami possibly may have necessarily fleshed out the novel with somewhat unimportant facts and characters, but maybe I just didn't link up the story lines well!

I received Book 3 as a gift at Easter, and couldn't wait to get started, as Book 2 is left on a huge cliffhanger! Murakami's strong point, definitely. In Book 3 a third narrative is introduced, which at first I didn't enjoy because I didn't like the character of Ushikawa, however I guess he isn't meant to be liked! As the book progressed though, his narrative was definitely an integral part of the storyline. 

As usual, I was gobsmacked at how Murakami managed to intertwine all the characters and their individual stories, and was left very happy at the outcome of the novel.

I would rate this book 9/10 - a must-read if you like Murakami's writing style! If you haven't read any of his works before, I suggest reading Norweigan Wood (see review on my old blog here) as it is shorter but you still get a feel for his writing style.

Has anyone else read 1Q84, or any of Murakami's books? 
Are you inspired to read this book?
Feedback on my reviews is always appreciated, I want to make them a regular thing!

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Best slow dancer in the universe

Oh hi there, long time no see! Apologies for the absence in blogging but I haven't really had time! Luckily my exams have finished, Summer is here and I've got plenty of time to ramble on. How have you all been? So much to catch up on! In a nutshell:

1.Applied for (what feels like a thousand) jobs
2. Had an interview at American Apparel, but sadly heard nothing back!
3. Struggled through my exams
4. Lived in squalor for my last month at university halls
5. Came back home for summer!

There we are, you're all caught up now! I hope everyone enjoyed their Jubilee weekend, I really enjoyed it even though I wasn't expecting to! Poor Prince Philip being in hospital though, anyone else think the Queen looked dead lonely?! :( However by the end of the weekend I was feeling very patriotic, which isn't like me!

If anyone's been reading this blog or my old one you may remember I started reading 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami, what feels like an age ago. Well, I'm nearly at the end of the last book! Yay! Going to be reviewing that on here soon :) also will be posting a summer reading list, as I've got a massive pile of books to get stuck in to.

I'll leave my ramblings at that for now :) Hope you're all well!